Back to Work Blues

Yesterday was particularly grey and rainy and as I drove to take my pre-employment drug screen, it finally really sunk in that I was returning to work in just 5 days. I had been laid off during maternity leave, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise because I got to spend an additional 3 months with my son.  Not only did we have all this extra bonding time together, but I was able to really establish a sold milk supply for him before having to go to a mostly pumping situation. As I waited at the stop light I started to think about how much I will miss him and I suddenly couldn't stop the tears.  Even as I write this and think about our time together the tears fall.

Someone asked me what I will miss about this time the most.  That is a hard question to answer because I will miss so much.  The best answer I can think of is the time itself.  Yesterday morning when he woke up I brought him in my bed, set the timer on my "Feed baby" app, and began to nurse him.  Suddenly I wake up and see the timer at over 40 minutes, and realize we have both fallen asleep, him still suckling away and me feeling the most harmonious link to him that I have ever felt. The rain is trickling against the windows, the lighting outside is still muted from the sun's hesitation to rise, and we have all the time in the world to just be like this.  There is no rush to do anything but enjoy this beautiful moment of time in slow motion.

Time with him is everything and now I am mourning the loss of this time.  Going forward I will have to rush to get us ready to leave in the morning.  I will certainly want to rush to get out of work to make the most of our short time together in the evening after work.  Since he goes to bed at 7:00 pm, we might only get an hour and a half together, which is only enough time for a bath, a nursing session, and maybe 30 minutes of playtime. I am pretty much going home to put my child to bed and not have any bonding time together and this kills my heart. How am I going to get through this devastation?

My friend let me in on a different perspective that I am trying to focus on. I need to be thankful for the extra time I did get with him.  Many do not get this much time and some don't get a maternity leave at all. I am very fortunate in this respect. The hard truth here is that babies don't stay babies for long and they too quickly become kids that have their own desires to experience the world.  I will never be able to hold on to this time for long anyway regardless of whether or not I have to return to work. It still hurts, but it's just life and I can't stop time. I do need to focus on what time we do have together and make that the center of my life.

So far in my parenting journey, the hard parts are not the lack of sleep or any of the other cliches out there, it is the loss of time and letting go of the inevitable. I just hope I can hold on to the memories of these most precious moments, when time has seemed to pause, instead of interfering with our little world. What little time we do have will be enjoyed at a slower pace from now on.

Oils I have used in the past 24 hours:

Thieves-on baby's feet before going to daycare

Eucalyptus blue-in baby's diffuser overnight

Lavender-in baby's diffuser overnight and in his bath

Peace & calming-in my diffuser at night

Lemon-in my water (everyday)

Cedarwood-on my scalp at bedtime

Cedarwood, Lavender, Peace & calming in my bedtime foot rub

Baby has a cold, keep calm and oil up!

I have been very fortunate to have a healthy baby that has never even had a fever and really hasn't had any cold symptoms last more than a day or two until recently.  Last week we started to come down with the snuffles and dripples and that quickly escalated into a congested cough.  I started to notice that the cough was worse over night and I decided on an essential oils protocol right away, as I try to avoid OTC medications when I can.  My preference is to choose to treat anything I can the natural way, if possible.

 I personally use Young Living essential oils due to their seed to seal process, which no other oil company has.  I know that with Young Living oils I can rest assured knowing that my baby is not receiving oils from a company that simply rebottles product, uses any kinds of synthetics, or uses anything other than the highest quality of sources for ingredients. In other words, most oils out there are kind of like "designer imposter fragrances" or cheap knock-offs.

Here is one protocol that has helped my baby breathe better while fighting off this terrible cold! I have also been using Thieves oil, but not nearly enough.  Thieves should be applied daily to help build our immunity and defense against all those bugs circulating.

Another blend I like to use to battle severe respiratory illness is Eucalyptus, Hyssop, and Thyme in a diffuser. 

Essential oils for your interview

I have not posted in a while due to being suddenly busy interviewing! I was laid off during my maternity leave and have now not worked in 6 months.  I was at my last job for 3 years, so my interviewing skills were a bit rusty, plus I had a baby that sometimes sabotaged my interviews by keeping me up all night.  I guess those jobs just weren't meant to be!  

I finally found a combination of oils that really helped me through this time.  If I was lacking energy and focus, I inhaled my Young Living Peppermint oil.  I also added a drop to my tongue for fresh breath.  I also used Valor for confidence and courage as well as Joy for an uplifting and calming feeling.  Last I used Stress Away on my wrists to help with pre-interview jitters.  So far out of 4 interviews I have received offers from 2 and am expecting a 3rd!!! 

These oils have many other uses as well and ALL come in the premium starter kit!!! I plan to continue to use these oils if I have to lead a meeting or if I just want to kill it at my new gig :)